The Story of Highway!!!

Sitting right beside the window at 3rd floor, sipping a cup of tea, made to awake myself to study and study till dawn but irony of the situation is that  it's not the PPTs and not the upcoming exams capturing my attention but attention seeker of the moment is more than a perfect view of The Greater Noida Express Highway!!

Don't know whether i am flowing with the mood or is it really something about this highway which catches my attention again and Yet again here i am.

All i can see at this time,is a road bereft of everything but this heart of mine can see, can feel what the eyes can't and the answer is Emotion no matter what the question is!!!

Now how can someone relate emotions to a highway at 1 in midnight especially when it is the one who keeps all of us far far away from the quite a happ life of Noida and Delhi!! But there is something, a thing which made me think, think until i feel and feel until i write.

Traveled it so many times, traveled to see a smiling face waiting just for me at end of it, traveled to catch up with those friends i have to leave a year ago, traveled alone,traveled with you all but always have noticed the flow of so many emotions, so many feelings through it.

Sometimes the two for whom the world is only This romantic ride on our very own highway.Sometimes seen all those friends making promises to share it all, to no matter where they go, these days, these rides won't ever be forgotten.

Sometimes seen a father, a husband having it all in his eyes but a bliss of meeting his family, and a hug from his kids is all he is waiting for.

Among all these innocent and lovely shades, sometimes my eyes struck at the ones who have that, pain, in their eyes.And the pain which is deep sitting in their heart, i have seen coming out of their eyes sometimes.And then, i was never able to gave them a second look, because these tears do define their story but as each one of us do have one or two such stories.And my bad luck, i am too vulnerable to those stories of mine.

And then, i realize my journey was till there only.Till Bimtech only.

Those lives,those stories which connect to me, make a impact right at my heart. Till now that impact has added a whole new dimension of emotions to my life.

I pray to God that it will always remain the same way!!! And pray the same for The Highway which absorbs it all , day and night.

I Miss It!!!

1.30 Am, T-12, 3rd floor,slow melody making my mood gloomy and forcing me to think i don't want to.Don't know whether is it the void of present or is it the unclear future forcing me to think of Past. Whenever this word flashes in front of my eyes i become silent for a moment trying to soak in so many emotions, so many feelings inside me.

They say Happy memories ends up giving you tears of joy,of bliss but damm they make me cry, cry like i hate, hate being here at this point of time, hate being...

My words can mere express it but my emotions can, what i miss.

I miss those early mornings rushing to school with The Best someones of your life, i miss those long prayers, i miss those Sunday afternoons spent with mum dad and brother, i miss those fights with him , i miss hating him  at that point of time and then saying sorry, i miss naming my dolls, i miss playing those silly games, i miss those Kattas and Abbaas!!! I miss irritating my dog, i miss painting walls.I miss a lot of it, i miss all of it.

This pensive feeling make my emotions more against The Present. Then i didn't need a reason to be happy, now thousand reasons are less to fake a smile.Then i saw care and feelings all around me,now, loathing is all i see, i feel.

I see a wall between the Time then and now and no matter how hard i try i can't see through it. 

I remember then we were taught to love and be loved and now i have learnt how to fake it all.

I am struck here and i know i will be for long time till i feel, till i see at least a slightest glimpse of what i am missing.

And till then i am writing, i am writing the Deepest Emotions!!!

I live because of It

Standing in the front of it, The Mirror,

I saw my smile, have seen it many times though,

But why, this time, It wasn't like the day before,

It wasn't like any day before,

It wasn't like the first day of college,

It wasn't like the last day either,

It wasn't like my 16th birthday,

Nor it was like my 21st,

I was standing, trying to hold it,

To never to loose it,

Trying my best to learn to replicate it,

But At that very moment,

I loose control of it, I forgot it,

Like i never had it,

Like i never, Felt it,

I tried, tried so hard to get it back,

Tried to make me feel the same,

I was, just 5 minutes back,

I felt it wasn't  just the smile i lost,

I felt i lost it all, 

In seconds,all what i have became all what i had,

At the same moment i took a look,

Into my eyes,

Dull they looked, Shallow they looked,

But, that was just a look,

Deep there i saw it, and i saw it all,

It wasn't hiding from me,

My smile, The smile, 

I realized, It was so, so mine,

And it was just the matter of time,

I looked for it, in the eyes, in the smile 

of everyone, of all my love ones,

I felt like i found it, many times,

a lot of times,

But now i realized, 

That was just a feeling,

Rather was just a fear,

But now that i have it,

I feel it,

I Live because of it,

I Love because of it,

I am & I will be Smiling just because of it.

Where i Was???

I was moving,with the day & with the night,
I was thinking,about the world & about the world,
I woke up this morning & something pulled me back,
It wasn't sleep,it wasn't the world outside,
It was me!!!
Though for long i waited for it,but finally there was something called as Me inside me
Still Alive!!!
Still want to me look,
Look what i have missed,while my eyes open & my heart closed through all these years.
Last time when i looked, i remember,
I was different,
I don't know about the world,but definitely what my eyes saw was a way different,
Where i was?? is the one big question i left unanswered from all these years,
And now,at this moment,when i want to get Me back,
And,my eyes looked out, Out of the window,
And i realized,I have lost!!
Guess the Me outside is stronger than the Me inside,
And here i am,
Moving,with the day & with the night,
Thinking, about the world & about the world.

And they lived Happily ever after.....

It came to an end....a happy end.....and they say if you are contented with the end no matters what in between it will rejoice your heart forever...For......Ever.........
The journey started from there...from where we all were in our different worlds....The fact of leaving our old..our best old days was making each one of us gloomy.....i am sure each one of has that last day of college....
And finally heavy heartedly we left all behind......
Bimtech the next thing for us....gave me things which my words can hardly explain.....my feelings can and just trying to give it mere words.....for an introvert like me it starts from here.........
Gained a lot things....lost a few.....but i am happily walking all through........
I remember  the first day.....and i met her......fell for her with in a week.....
My flatmate....my one of the great friend here Deepika......i can see through her eyes her heart....and i can see through her heart....her care love affection for each one of us.....
and then that once up on a time slim....Niketa....
Bold she is outspoken she is.....d best admirer she is ...the best fighter she is....our neta ji......


There was a void in my heart....which grew...which deepen....which made me restless...
Now standing at the first day of this year..i realised it's no more there....and just there....right there i have you all in my heart.....


Other names which have that deep secure place in my heart.......and they are much more than just being names....are.....
Pratika our cutie our teddy....i know this word will annoy her.....but then....you are....  Neha....loudspeaker...chatterbox....n xyc...but a sweetheart.....  Our  cleanliness obsessiveness compulsion disorder one....Disha....heavy words....but you deserve them darling with all grace....love ya....
Anand....you  being one of the true friend out here.....you know what your smile is what makes you special....
then Mohit....idiot...dumb..unique..but sweet....and off course the ccr...
Uday....i am just too incapable to explain him....his domain...just too vast....and no matter how much i censor my words still all about him come out in beep beep beep.....(read it girls girls girls) and i am so not sure how he gonna react but then who cares uday....Arun rana.....a tough competitor of uday.....and i bet "that" word can give him heartattack.....right.....but too sweet diabetic types he is.....Ashish...Silence Well behaved are just the few words for him......and here i have kanu....whenever she uses word "Listen".....i advice you to shutup and listen...otherwise take your own risk.....my another cute little flatmate......


They are the one close to my heart......close to my life.......no matter how often i talk to them but you all will be right there when i need & i know that.....
It being a short sweet journey.....I know difficult i had been a few times....but thankyou for being there......A smile from you all is what i need..........
And that's how we came to an end..a happy end......
God Bless You all.