1.30 Am, T-12, 3rd floor,slow melody making my mood gloomy and forcing me to think i don't want to.Don't know whether is it the void of present or is it the unclear future forcing me to think of Past. Whenever this word flashes in front of my eyes i become silent for a moment trying to soak in so many emotions, so many feelings inside me.
They say Happy memories ends up giving you tears of joy,of bliss but damm they make me cry, cry like i hate, hate being here at this point of time, hate being...
My words can mere express it but my emotions can, what i miss.
I miss those early mornings rushing to school with The Best someones of your life, i miss those long prayers, i miss those Sunday afternoons spent with mum dad and brother, i miss those fights with him , i miss hating him at that point of time and then saying sorry, i miss naming my dolls, i miss playing those silly games, i miss those Kattas and Abbaas!!! I miss irritating my dog, i miss painting walls.I miss a lot of it, i miss all of it.
This pensive feeling make my emotions more against The Present. Then i didn't need a reason to be happy, now thousand reasons are less to fake a smile.Then i saw care and feelings all around me,now, loathing is all i see, i feel.
I see a wall between the Time then and now and no matter how hard i try i can't see through it.
I remember then we were taught to love and be loved and now i have learnt how to fake it all.
I am struck here and i know i will be for long time till i feel, till i see at least a slightest glimpse of what i am missing.
And till then i am writing, i am writing the Deepest Emotions!!!
